"Tough Guise"

Masculinity is so closely linked to toughness and violence in our society because we basically view violent masculinity as a culture norm. Guys make up a projection or a disguise or a mask however you want to put it, it's basically a front that guys put up through violence for admiration. They want to be a "real man" but that's such a narrow definition it's hard to place. When guys were asked to define what a "real man" is, most said tough, strong, etc. Then when asked what happens when you aren't a "real man" most said you're a wimp, fag, etc. Insults like these are used to keep boys boxed into this narrow definition.

There's a growing connection between being a man and being violent. Statistics from the video revealed that 85% of murders are committed by men, 90% of assaults are committed by men, 95% of domestic violence incidents are committed by men, 95% of dating violence is committed by men, 80-90% of child sexual violence is committed by men, victims of male homocides: 76% men and 24% women. It is also said that 81% of abused boys grow up to be abusers themselves. Manhood is linked to dominance and control, we see this all around. While women, overtime, are getting smaller and thinner guys are getting bigger and stronger. We see this in movies, shows, but even children's toys like G.I. Joe and Barbie for example. In the movies we see how men and their guns were small but

now they've gotten bigger and we can see this in the Terminator. There's nothing natural about what is being shown, there's mostly always men in charge, this reflects men's anxieties on the screen and makes them feel better about themselves. It's all a response to a threat of masculinity.

This whole concept of "Tough Guise" argues that masculinity is not natural or you aren't born with it, that you have to put on this disguise to hide who you really are just to be accepted as a "real man" and get made fun of. Correct me if I'm wrong but my view of a "real man" is a gentleman who would never lay a violent hand on a  woman. A "real man" is a respectable one that isn't afraid to be who he is. But that's even hard because even if there isn't a "tough guise" put on around you, you can bet he has it on around his friends.